Never Walk Out of the Bathroom Naked

I'm all about following the rules. My husband thinks that I am too good about it. In fact, it is just one of many things that he teases me about. He will do something that he knows will send me into a fit just because he knows he can. It never gets old for him.

One time, we went to an ATM to get cash from the machine. It was after midnight and I was on the passenger side of the car and with my ATM card. I was planning to get out and go to the walk-up, which I was completely fine with. Instead, my husband pulled into the drive-up ATM going the wrong way so that I could reach the keys. To say that this put me into mild hysteria isn't that far from the truth. To this day, I will support the fact that it was extremely dangerous, especially given the design of the drive-thru. Cars entering cannot be seen by cars exiting, so we could have had a head-on collision either entering or exiting the wrong direction. The traffic arrows painted on the road aren't there for decoration. That is just one of my "you're not following the rules" panic attacks.

Rules have always had a power over me. Even when I was a young child, I followed the rules. I think someone should have seen that I was best suited to be a soldier or police officer. After all, I was playground monitor, fire patrol/door monitor, safety patrol, teacher's aide and office assistant. I did what I was told, and passed on the rules by telling other people what to do. Turns out, that I picked teaching as my career of choice in college. Another, "follow the rules" career.

I appreciate "guidelines" or "suggestions". I do well without rules for the most part. In fact, I'm such a rule freak, that if someone gives me permission to break the rules, I still don't feel comfortable doing it. There are many written rules that I follow, like the speed limit. But the other set of rules, the unwritten ones, are more interesting.

• Always close the bathroom door. I absolutely need to close the door when I'm "using" the bathroom. I tried to leave the door open when I lived alone because someone told me it was a freeing experience. I can honestly say that noting was freed during that experience. My children, on the other hand, don't even acknowledge that there is a door on that particular room.
• Never put knives in the sink. This is one my husband doesn't understand. When I fill up the sink to do dishes, I'm very careful not to put knives in the dishwater. In fact, sharp knives never go in my sink at all, even it the sinks are completely empty. I set the knives up by the faucet, or wash them immediately to put away. When hubby does dishes, he throws everything in the sink, including knives. I totally see this as an invitation to the emergency room. You might as well throw a piranha in there too!
• Never swallow your gum. I am an avid chewer of gum. When I was a kid, I would literally put my gum on my bedpost at night so I would have some to chew in the morning. I don't do that anymore, but it is a rare day that I haven't had my first piece of gum by lunch time. I've even developed a routine where I keep the gum wrapper so that I have something to spit my gum into when I'm done. The thought of swallowing a piece of gum makes me sick. I would put it on my nose before I swallowed it.

You get the idea. So imagine how nuts I get when people actually break the law. I am constantly instructing other drivers to turn on their lights in the rain, to stop behind the white line, to buckle up their children, or to stop following me so closely. I can't be the only one that has to follow the rules, am I?

What are some of your unwritten rules?